Thoughts In My Head

I have no boxes to review and since I already gave you a list of boxes I’m hoping to have show up this week I thought I’d just do a post about things that are going on in my life.  I wish I could say this will be filled with the most interesting things you’ve ever read but my life just isn’t that full of fantasy.

The thing that has been most on my mind lately is the fact that my maternity leave is almost over.  In fact it’s so close to being over that in six days from today I will be back behind my desk covered in papers instead of on my couch covered in children.  I admit that there are days when having to be home with two kids who need my constant attention and help can be trying.  I crave nothing more then silence.  The continual and ever present noise that comes with kids and pets and sometimes even a husband drives me insane.  However if there was a way for me to be able to stay home with them and not work I would be more then happy to do it.  I’m lucky enough that my mom is willing and able to help out and watch them for me a few days a week when I do go back.  I know there are plenty of kids in daycare but beyond the outrageous cost of it, the thought of giving my girls over to someone else to raise makes me feel somewhat sick inside.  I’m not saying that it is a bad choice and I am aware there is no other choice for plenty of parents, but for me personally it’s not something I can do.

It’s also almost time to apply for PreK again for Bug.  Last year we tried and did not get in.  I think it was because we were still working on potty training, which was one of the questions asked,  but since we’ve got that mastered now I have hopes maybe this fall we might make it.  I’d be okay if she was turned down again since then she could still be my baby girl instead of a big girl who goes to school.  There are no playschools near us so this would be her first foray into a structured school setting.  She does go to a few activities like swimming and such where she needs to listen and behave away from Mom and Dad but since she likes learning I think she’d be happy in PreK.  We’ll see.

I have also been toying with the idea of trying to lose a bit of weight.  I am fortunate (or not) to have a body type that allows me to carry a fair bit before looking heavy.  I am now past that point after two kidlets and really not watching what went into my mouth for the last however many years.  It’s a weird thing that happens in my head in that I seem to not really be aware of how much I weigh.  When I look in the mirror, I feel much thinner then I am, so it’s a shock when I see a picture of myself and recoil in horror, shocked that that person is me.  I think I have hit a point where I can commit to changing some of my bad snacking habits and general overeating.  I have lost weight in the past but I was trying to regain confidence in myself then to leave a situation that was making me unhappy.  It was a pretty strong motivator and since that is not in play right now, it’ll have to come down to willpower.  I still think I’m the thin sexy beast I was, so I just need to make the outside match the inside. How hard can that be right???

Well that’s all I’ve got for now.  Hopefully some boxes show up today and you won’t be subjected to more of my random ramblings.  If you have any thought on how to boost willpower or things that  have worked for you please feel free to share!

Stay warm!